i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
