There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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