i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We have so much sex to catch up on
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
