Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just had sex bonerless
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
