I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
