well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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