im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
