There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
