think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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