I just cut my nipple shaving
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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