Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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