But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
vagina is talking i cant
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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