ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
