Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
