Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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