let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
