Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
