In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
