she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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