I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
