Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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