i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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