am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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