It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
