on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
