with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
