dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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