Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
