I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
