I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
