i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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