Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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