there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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