Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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