Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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