i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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