sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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