If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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