eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
