either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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