My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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