yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
