Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the condom got lost in my hair
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
