My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
