My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
