You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The power of my boobs compel you
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
