just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
