So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
