It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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