Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
