i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
