The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I deserve this hangover.
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