erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
